


Put your hands on me baby

by miss_maraudeur



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 21:20:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8029306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_maraudeur/pseuds/miss_maraudeur
Summary: Little One Shot based on this prompt
"I could give you a massage… if you wanted"
This doesn't go where you think it should go. I am oh so sorry.





	Put your hands on me baby

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm back! Sort of? Listen, I know this isn't what y'all want to read from me (I know), but this since I'm not quite done just yet with what you probably do wanna read, I'm going to drop this in the meantime. 
> 
> I am ever so excited about season 3 you guys. SO excited. So in the spirit of the excitement, here is a little One Shot. 
> 
> And soon enough, I will update WTWGU. I promise. It's coming. No games.

 Laura hates her job. It’s no wonder really. It’s a pretty shitty job to begin with. Okay, so perhaps it isn’t _that_ bad. After all, she’s waitressing, sure, but it’s not as if she’s working for some gross and unsanitary joint. The place she works at is fairly clean, actually, and her colleagues are nice. Even the clients are, generally speaking, quite pleasant. It’s not the job specifically, Laura guesses, but more the fact that, not even a month ago, she actually had her dream job, Investigative Journalist at V &H Co.

 

And it was _everything_ Laura had always wanted. Going undercover, being on the guest list of important events, getting to grill shady politicians or CEOS. Her job had given her all of these opportunities and even more. She’d felt alive there, alive and _useful_. With every piece she’d written, every exposé, Laura had felt like she was doing something for her city. She’d felt the kind of satisfaction most people only ever hoped to achieve and she’d known from day one that this was the right career for her.

 

Now though… well she guesses she serves people’s food and someone _has_ to do it. She’s not useless _per se_ , but she can’t pretend the job makes her feel even a fraction as passionate as her old one did. It’s no wonder, under those circumstances that she hates it so much. Besides, it doesn’t help that the waitressing is physically killing her.

 

Honestly, Laura feels like her muscles are going to give out. Just walking up the stairs to her apartment is difficult, her knees are burning and her thighs are cramping up. She’s got a hand on the railing, but she can’t even hold onto it properly. Her arms are too tired.

 

By the time Laura reaches her front door, she’s fairly certain that her shoulders and neck have reached their maximum potential of stiffness. She really needs to find herself a new job. It would be easier, Laura thinks bitterly, if Vordenburg- her ex-boss- wasn’t making it almost impossible for her to do so. She sighs deeply and unlocks her apartment before stepping inside. She can wallow in her misfortune just as well inside.

 

Upon entering her small flat, the first thing Laura spots is Carmilla lounging on the couch. It’s almost funny how much her brain actually struggles with the concept for a few seconds. Laura doesn’t find it funny though, that her first thought is that this, Carmilla on her couch, is completely normal, that it’s as things should be. She doesn’t find it funny because it’s a big letdown when Laura remembers the next second that it _isn’t_ normal. Not anymore. Only… it sort of is, for now. Just not in the same way.

 

Laura’s made a lot of bad decisions in her life, but she thinks, perhaps, as her heart crushes all over again, that this one might take the cake. Because, really, inviting her ex to move back in with her for an undetermined amount of time just can’t be classified as smart. Still, it’s too late to change her mind now, Laura thinks, not that she’s entirely sure that she would. She’s a glutton for punishment it seems.

 

“Hi,” she mumbles uncomfortably in Carmilla’s general direction as she steps further into the apartment.

 

Laura keeps her head down as she speaks and doesn’t lift it when Carmilla gives her a soft ‘hey’ in return. Their situation is awkward at best, Laura knows that. The less they interact, the better it is for everyone. She’s accepted it by now. Or at least, she thought she did until Carmilla talks again.

 

“How was your day at work?” Carmilla asks her.

 

Laura shifts her gaze to look at her in surprise. The question is tentative and Laura can tell it almost pains Carmilla to participate in such trivial talk, but she’s making an effort to communicate and just that is weird in it of itself.

 

“Uh, it was good. Thanks,” Laura answers with a small shrug.

 

It’s not entirely true- Laura broke one plate and 3 glasses today after all and her boss wasn’t all too pleased, but Carmilla doesn’t need to know that. It’s not like they _actually_ talk these days. It’s not like her ex _really_ wants to know, even if she’s making an effort.

 

“How was yours?” Laura shoots back politely.

“Good…” Carmilla answers slowly, silence falling between them right after.

 

Their conversations are always like this now, stilted and painfully uncomfortable. Laura guesses that’s what happens when you break up. One day you’re each other’s world and the other you struggle to hold a meaningless conversation.

 

“I did some job hunting,” Carmilla adds after a moment.

“Oh? I thought you wanted more time to paint,” Laura comments with a confused frown.

“Well, I haven’t been commissioned with anything in a while so… I do need money if I want to afford a rent somewhere.”

“Oh… Okay, then… Well in that case… How did the job hunting go?” Laura enquires.

“Well, it sucked,” the brunette admits. “But I’ve seen some more ads and I’ll check them out tomorrow or something. I’ll be out of your hair soon.”

“Don’t be silly,” Laura says instantly. “You don’t have to rush, you can stay as long as you need.”

 

And there it is again, Laura thinks. This is the kind of natural response that lead her to invite Carmilla back in the first place.

 

“Besides… this was your apartment too and well… half the stuff is kinda yours so…” Laura reminds the brunette.

 

Carmilla shrugs and looks away and Laura knows what she’s thinking. She’s the one that wanted out, she’s the one that actually _did_ walk out and therefore Laura gets to keep the apartment. It’s not quite as simple as that, Laura thinks, but that’s the only way she can explain why Carmilla left her everything in an almost uncharacteristically nice move. Well… as nice as a move towards someone can be after you just broke their heart. Still, Laura would have expected Carmilla to claim her rightful half of their stuff after the break up. Or even insist on staying right where she was because she was on the place’s lease just as much as Laura. Carmilla didn’t though and Laura doesn’t know if that small act of selflessness actually helped or if it made the break up even more painful to accept. Either way, it doesn’t change the end result which is that even though Carmilla left originally, she’s back now.

 

Neither of them adds anything and Laura nods once awkwardly before moving towards the kitchen. She can feel her ex’s stare on her, but she bites down the way it makes her feel and carries on. She hasn’t eaten in hours and she’s about ready to devour anything.

 

Laura moves around her kitchen for a moment, grabbing vegetables from the fridge, knifes and cutting boards from the cabinets. It’s a relief she’s not cooking the food she serves because Laura doubts she’d have the energy to do it some more at home if it was the case. Just carrying her plate of food to the table makes her want to cry after a 12 hour work shift. She can’t imagine if it was the entirety of cooking.

 

Even if she doesn’t cook at work, Laura has to admit that the job is still affecting her. Just standing with her shoulders hunched to cut her vegetables is making her feel like she’s being stabbed in the neck. She lets out a huff after a moment and takes a small break. She moves her shoulders in circles and tries to crack her neck to release some of the tension, but it doesn’t work that well and she’s grimacing before she knows it.

 

“You okay, Laura?” Carmilla asks and it’s because the voice is so much closer than before that Laura realises that her ex has approached and is standing just a few feet away from her.

 

Her heart leaps into her throat instantly. Stupid treacherous heart, she thinks. 

 

“Oh, uh, yeah yeah. All good,” she pipes up nervously.

“You sure? ‘Cause you looked like you were in pain just then…” Carmilla pushes.

“Oh it’s noth- _ouch_ ,” Laura hisses when she shrugs and feels like an electric shock run down her neck.

 

Carmilla raises a skeptical eyebrow and gives her a very small, amused smile and Laura wants to cry. She has _missed_ this, missed _Carmilla_ so much.

 

“You’re still the worst liar I’ve ever known,” the brunette comments.

 

Laura scoffs and smiles and Carmilla matches it automatically. It really is a divine smile, Laura thinks. Carmilla takes a few steps forward until she’s almost next to Laura and the smile doesn’t leave her lips.

 

“Sounds to me like you might need my magical fingers,” she says casually.

 

Laura is infinitely glad that she wasn’t drinking just then because she’s rather sure that she would have choked to death if she was. She feels her face redden instead and opens and closes her mouth a few times in search of an answer. Carmilla seems to notice right then what she actually said because her smirk disappears and a light blush covers her own cheeks. Oh how the mighty have fallen, Laura muses. There was a time when Carmilla would have said such an innuendo on purpose. But of course, Laura reminds herself sadly, that was _before_.

 

“By which I mean… that uh, I could give you a massage… if you wanted,” Carmilla explains awkwardly.

 

Laura gulps slowly. She isn’t sure how to feel about this. For one, the idea of Carmilla touching her that way is more than a little enticing, but she’s not sure she can actually take it. She crosses her arms on her chest and bites her bottom lip as she hesitates.

 

“I… It’s okay. Really. I’m fine, you don’t have to do that… I promise. Besides, I’m sure you have better things to do,” Laura tries to decline.

“Now look who’s being silly…” Carmilla mutters taking a step towards Laura. “I could see how sore you are all the way from the couch.”

 

Laura continues to gnaw at her lip instead of answering because she genuinely doesn’t know what to say.

 

“Just turn around cupcake and let this happen,” Carmilla eventually says, her voice infinitely soft.

 

Laura’s heart completely soars then because Carmilla hasn’t called her _that_ since the break-up. It’s been “Laura” only and although the smaller girl can’t say she was ever fond of the nicknames, she missed them dearly once they were gone. So yeah, said like that, Laura feels like she has no choice, but to turn around and indeed let it happen.

 

She sees from the corner of her eye Carmilla undo her messy bun and put her hair band around her wrist. The next second, she’s running one of her hands in Laura’s hair, her fingers slightly grazing the small girl’s skull and Laura swears she’s about to pass out from the sensation it sparks in her. Carmilla ties the other girl’s hair up and then she sets her hands on Laura’s shoulders and starts.

 

From the first squeeze, Laura’s head drops forward and she bites back a moan. Carmilla’s thumbs are lodged _exactly_ where it hurts and they apply just enough pressure to release some of the stiffness without hurting too much. Laura grabs the counter to steady herself as Carmilla starts a circular motion near the base of her neck. Her fingers work their way across the smaller girl’s shoulders, descending at one point along her shoulder blades. Laura can feel the knots jumping from under Carmilla’s thumbs, but when they do, her ex finds them again and gently works them out as best as she can. Carmilla works on her shoulders for a bit before moving up to her neck. She places her thumbs on both side of Laura’s neck and massages higher and higher.

 

The whole thing is heavenly. Carmilla’s touch, the massage itself, Laura can barely breathe normally. It hurts a little, but it’s the kind of hurt that allows her muscles to relax afterwards, the kind of hurt that feels satisfying and not the kind that just _hurts_. Laura hadn’t realised how much she needed the massage until just now. She didn’t realise how much she’d missed Carmilla’s hands on her body as well. That last thought makes her blush and breathe harder, but Laura pushes it away.

 

When Carmilla finds a spot at the base of her skull though, Laura can no longer push anything back. The sensation hits her like a truck. Carmilla’s thumbs make her entire head throb and it feels so _good_ that Laura just can’t help herself. She actually _whimpers_ in pleasure.

 

She’s afraid for a second that she’s made this entire thing awkward now, but Carmilla just keeps going, concentrating on that particular spot. Laura can’t be happier because, _shit,_ she’s really loving this massage.

 

Carmilla focuses on that spot for a few more seconds before moving her hands down again. If Laura thought it was good the first time around, she realises it was nothing compared to how it feels when Carmilla’s fingers find those spots in her shoulders once more. She honestly can’t help herself then.

 

“ _Fuck_ _Carm_ ,” Laura moans breathily.

 

And if her first whimper didn’t change anything, this sure as hell _does_. Because Laura _doesn’t swear_. Her father was always strict about language and, as such, Laura developed the habit of not swearing a long time ago. So she never ever swears. Except… well… except when she’s having sex. A fact that Carmilla is very much intimate with.

 

Carmilla stops all movement instantly and Laura’s eyes shoot open. She turns around abruptly, cheeks flaming red in embarrassment.

 

“Oh my God… I’m sorry! I… I didn’t mean to…” Laura mumbles rapidly.

 

Carmilla nods along and licks her lips slowly. Laura follows the motion and gulps. She really needs to get out of this kitchen.

 

“O-okay,” she says shakily. “I’m gonna…” she trails off, pointing towards her bedroom.

 

She’s just started walking away when Carmilla stops her.

 

“Laura don’t go. It’s fine,” she says not sounding completely convinced.

“Not really,” Laura answers honestly and Carmilla looks at her sadly. “I’m sorry I made this awkward.”

“Laura…”

“No it’s okay, you don’t have to try to pretend that I didn’t make this totally awkward. I did… I didn’t think I’d… I guess I really needed the massage,” she tries to joke.

 

Carmilla smiles at that and nods.

 

“You sure did. Those were some tense shoulders. What the hell is Vordenburg making you investigate to cause such tension?” she jokes right back.

 

Laura blinks in confusion once before she remembers. Right, she tells herself, Carmilla doesn’t know. She’d forgotten for a minute, but now she remembers. She hasn’t told Carmilla about being fired from V&H Co., hasn’t told the other girl that her job now is waitressing.

 

“Oh you know… the usual…” Laura lies feebly.

 

Carmilla nods and Laura tries to give her a genuine smile, but fails miserably. She’s a horrible liar and it's only a matter of time before Carmilla figures out that Laura no longer works for Vordenburg. Still, Laura isn’t ready for this particular discussion. She still doesn’t quite know how to say it, if she’s being honest with herself. How can she explain that Vordenburg fired her because she refused to do an exclusive exposé on the Karnstein family and Carmilla in particular? Vordenburg had thought she’d jump at the occasion after Laura had revealed some shady business the Corvea Corporation was running and implicating Matska Belmonde, the eldest of the family and Carmilla’s sister.

 

Of course, that was part of what had lost her Carmilla and if there was one thing Vordenburg had failed to see it was the guilt and regret that had plagued Laura since the article. So she’d said no vehemently over and over again as Vordenburg made her amazing offers one after the other. Ultimately, the old man had warned her that her continued refusal would earn her the door and had put his threat into action when Laura had still refused.

 

But how can she tell Carmilla that? Back when it happened, it had already been too late and so Laura had held her tongue. Her refusal to write the new article couldn’t change the fact that she _had_ brought down Carmilla’s sister’s organization. Her refusal couldn’t change the fact that their relationship had already been strained at that point and that the break-up had seemed inevitable. It couldn’t change anything and so Laura hadn’t told her ex girlfriend.

 

Now, looking at Carmilla’s tense expression, Laura almost wishes she had. She holds her tongue though. It still won’t change anything if she tells the other girl. It won’t make Carmilla love her again.

 

The thought brings instant tears to her eyes and Laura breathes in deeply before swivelling and trying to escape to her room. Carmilla doesn’t let her any more than she did moments ago. She grabs her wrist and pulls her back in, turning her shoulders until Laura is facing her again.

 

Laura can’t hold the tears any longer and they fall onto her cheeks. She breathes in shakily as she tries to avoid the sobs she can feel pushing against her throat. She can see Carmilla’s eyebrows scrunched in worry.

 

“Sorry,” she mumbles. “I just hum…”

 

She tries to leave again, but Carmilla stops her yet again.

 

“Carm…” she whimpers, _implores_. “I- I can’t…”

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Carmilla whispers, her thumbs finding Laura’s tears and brushing them away.

 

Her words only make it worse though and Laura’s heart breaks a bit further.

 

“Oh _god_ …” she cries and the sobs come rushing forth.

 

Comprehension of what she just said washes over Carmilla and she blanches before clenching her jaw and pulling Laura into her. Laura grabs onto her like a life line, her nose buried deep in the brunette’s shirt and it smells so much like home that it only makes her cry harder. After a small moment though it’s too much and Laura has to pull away.

 

“Carm, I can’t…” she says through hiccups. “I- I- I can’t…”

“Do you want me to go?” Carmilla asks, worry and concern all over her features.

 

Laura shakes her head vigorously because somehow the idea of Carmilla leaving again is much worse than enduring the pain of seeing her without having her.

 

“I’ll be fine, I just… I need a minute,” Laura says apologetically. “I-… this is… It’s _hard_ Carm…” she admits sheepishly. “It’s just that I miss-” she begins, but stops herself.

 

She bites her bottom lip and shakes her head. She needs to put some distance between herself and Carmilla so she can regain her composure, so she can start behaving like a decent ex girlfriend again.

 

“I uh… I’m gonna go… Just…Yeah…”

 

Laura turns around and this time Carmilla doesn’t stop her. She’s almost in her room when she hears the other girl speak.

 

“Laura…” Carmilla calls out and she sounds in pain.

 

Laura turns around and just looks at the brunette, at her ex. She looks conflicted, but god she’s still the most beautiful person Laura has ever seen. Laura is still so madly in love with Carmilla, she can barely breathe. It’s so painfully clear that she still is. There’s no way it would hurt this much if she wasn’t.

 

“I… I just want you to know… that it’s _hard_ for me too,” Carmilla says seriously.

 

Laura nods and smiles tightly. Carmilla shakes her head and furrows her eyebrows.

 

“No, Laura, it’s _hard_. Just as hard for me too…” she repeats and this time Laura feels her heart flutter. “Every day I… seeing you right there and not… It’s _hard_ , okay?”

 

And Laura sees it then, she sees the hurt and the anguish in Carmilla’s eyes. She sees that and, as she does, she also sees a hint of something else, of love. Her heart soars and hope flares in her chest. She nods solemnly and offers the other girl a sad smile that reflects her pain, _yes_ , but a smile that’s also filled with love and adoration. The hope in her chest flares a bit brighter when Carmilla sends her the same one in return.

 

Laura turns around and goes into her room after that. She knows nothing will change today, but perhaps, _perhaps_ , if Carmilla still loves her, _perhaps_ if Carmilla misses her as much as she misses the brunette, then maybe they can talk someday. Maybe they can talk and Laura can tell her everything she’s been holding back about her regret, her guilt and being fired. Maybe Laura can tell her just how much Carmilla means to her and maybe, just maybe, there’s hope for them yet.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry? I know this was a bit angsty, but guyyyyyys, wait for WTWGU. Just wait for it. It's totes not angsty. :D 
> 
> You guys enjoy the first Act of Season 3. I sure as hell will!
> 
> Keep being wonderful,
> 
> MM xx


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